Zombie Preparation

In the event of the Zombie Apocalypse, what weapon do you grab from your house (at least to tide you over until you get to a sword/gun store)?

If you couldn’t answer that question within fifteen seconds, I’m sorry, but the zombies got you. The primary reason for zombification is unpreparedness. Don’t worry though, I am here to help you my friends. Step away from the comfortable glow of your computer screen and return to reality for a moment. What weapon are you going to grab? The zombies are smashing in your windows and groaning loudly. You only have a moment.

Do you grab your guitar? Maybe, if it is a last resort. Even then though, not a good idea.

Do you grab a golf club? Maybe, if you are fucking kidding me. If you grabbed a golf club you get to watch it bend over the head of a zombie right before he tears out your jugular vein.

Do you grab a butcher knife? Sure, if you don’t mind getting within a foot of gnashing zombie teeth.

Here’s what you need to do. Look inside your garage or tool shed. Most likely your best bet will be there. A sharp enough shovel could decapitate the walking dead and you could always use it to bash in their demonic heads. My weapon of choice though, would be my lawn edger. It is about five feet long and it has a significant amount of weight at the end. It is sharp and it is sturdy. I have a stabbing and a swinging attack available to me. In all honesty, it would do me better than a gun, even if I had one.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that you guys need to pick your zombie weapon carefully; put some thought into it! Once you decide on one or two, always remember where they are and remember to be ready to get to them in the blink of an eye.

Good luck surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. I hope to see you in the sanctuary.